


Bruises and Bandages

by nomadicwolf



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1930s, Boxing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-29 05:56:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21405295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomadicwolf/pseuds/nomadicwolf
Summary: Bucky Barnes has always done what is necessary to provide for him and his loved ones.  When work is hard to come by he turns to the only outlet he can think of, boxing.  Whether he likes to admit it or not, it’s a dangerous sport and with it come more injuries than he could have ever seen coming.  Steve does his best to watch on as the love of his life puts his body through abuse in order to provide for them.  The only issue is, is it all worth if if Bucky might lose his life in the ring fighting a boxer who is notorious for being violent in the ring.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27
Collections: Captain America Big Bang 2019 | cabigbang





	1. Chapter 1

Steve watched in horror as Bucky hit the ground hard. He hated this part. He knew that Bucky would get up. He always got up. After the longest moment of Steve’s life, Bucky used the ropes of the ring to get back on his feet. Steve felt himself exhale as Bucky was standing upright. He hated this sport. The bell rang and Bucky went to his corner. Steve took that as his cue to leave. He and Bucky had a rule. If Steve felt uneasy watching, he could leave in between rounds. With all the hits that Bucky was taking, Steve couldn’t bear to watch anymore.

He couldn’t remember exactly when Bucky had started fighting professionally, but he remembered the first time that he had ever seen him fight. It was when they were in grade school. One of the older boys had taken Steve’s backpack and were refusing to return it. Bucky didn’t like that. He had jumped in to defend him and managed to get the bag back for him… and a black eye. That was the reason that Steve could never ask Bucky to stop. Bucky would never admit it, but he fought for Steve.

Bucky could have tried his luck down at the docks like the rest of the guys who were laid off in the past few years. He didn’t, though. He didn’t, because it didn’t pay as well as boxing. If Bucky were on his own, the money would be fine. But Steve couldn’t work in the wintertime. He was too sick, and hardly anyone wanted to take a chance on him when the weather was nice, nevermind during subzero temperatures. 

Steve got back to the apartment and started to get everything ready for when Bucky came home. He got his washcloth out and some bandages. He went over to the small kitchenette and scooped out some of the ice that was in a bag in the sink. Thankfully, most of it hadn’t melted yet. He placed the ice in a bag and then brought a chair over near the sink. It was always best to try and keep the blood in one area.

Then he waited. Waiting was the worst part, and it was the main reason why he rarely left during a match. He hated not knowing whether or not Bucky would come through that door. Sometimes he hated it more than watching Bucky get knocked down in the ring.... Sometimes.

The door creaked open. Bucky limped into the apartment. He looked like a mess. His forehead was bleeding and his right eye was swollen shut. He had a fat lip and he was limping worse than usual after a fight. 

“Oh my god,” Steve said as he raced over to Bucky, trying to offer him some support as he made his way over to the chair.

“You should see the other guy,” Bucky said dismissively. “It looks worse than it feels.”

“Well, regardless, it still looks pretty bad, Buck,” Steve said as he picked up the wash cloth and began to soak up some of the blood that was flowing from his forehead. “This cut is pretty deep.”

Bucky groaned disgruntledly. “I’m sure it’s fine. You can stitch me up like last time if you need to.”

Steve grimaced as that as he pushed as stray strand of hair from Bucky’s face. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I’m not that good at it. It could mess up your face forever.”

Bucky laughed at that. “What? You won’t kiss me with a nasty scar on my forehead? I thought we were stronger than that, Stevie.”

“That’s not funny, Buck,” Steve said shortly. He grabbed the ice bag and handed it to Bucky. “Put that on your eye… or your lip, while I try to clean up this cut.”

Bucky didn’t say anything as he picked up the ice and placed it on his eye. After a few moments, he started to relax, his body all but limp in the seat. Steve was able to get the bleeding to stop without stitches this time. He took out a bandage and put it over the cut on Bucky’s forehead.

“I’m gonna get you more ice,” Steve said as he walked away from where Bucky was sitting. He started scooping more of the ice from the sink into another bag. 

“I won,” Bucky mumbled under his breath. “Got some cash for it too.”

Steve frowned as he walked back over to the chair. “Where do you want me to ice now? Your lip, or are you hurting somewhere else too?”

“That’s all you’ve gotta say about it, Stevie?” Bucky asked, Steve could hear the disappointment in his voice.

Steve sighed. “You made it pretty clear that my opinion isn’t welcome when it comes to this, Buck. You know how I feel about the boxing. There’s a reason Rebecca and Regina don’t come anymore. There’s a reason I’ve been leaving more lately--”

“I can take the hits, Stevie. It’s not that big of a deal. I promise. I’ve got this. I win way more than I lose,” Bucky said moving the ice to look him in the eye. “If you’ve got any other ideas for work, please let me know. I don’t exactly love having to kick ass for my next meal. I gotta do what I gotta do.”

Steve sucked his cheeks in to keep himself quiet. Bucky had a point. The docks were never a sure thing, and they didn’t pay as well as the boxing did. They’d had this argument enough times for Steve to know how it ended. “You can’t blame me for worrying.”

Bucky exhaled loudly. “_You_ can’t blame _me_ for keeping at it either.”

“I wasn’t going to bring it up. You’re the one who pushed for this conversation. You don’t get to end it when it doesn’t go your way,” Steve snapped. He pushed Bucky’s hand with the ice back towards his eye. “Keep the ice on.”

“He was favored to win you know--”

“What do you want me to say, Buck?” Steve asked, shaking his head. “You won. Great. I’m just glad that you walked through that door with a pulse. You look like you’ve been hit by a truck. Forgive me if I don’t feel like celebrating that.” There was a pause. “Where do you want me to put this ice?”

“My knee hurts something awful,” Bucky said quietly. 

Steve nodded. “Which one?”

“The left is worse,” Bucky said under his breath.

Steve gently placed the bag of ice on his left knee. “I’ll set up a bath for you. You should soak.”

“Will you join me?” Bucky asked softly.

“I don’t really think you’re in any condition for that right now, Buck,” Steve said honestly. “I can help if you need someone to help you get in and out of the tub… or if you want me to … bathe you or something, but no. I won’t be joining you.”

“Fair enough,” Bucky said with a yawn. It was clear that he was exhausted. Steve didn’t envy him. He knew that Bucky was just trying to help, but he couldn’t stand how battered he looked each time he came back. Steve wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Steve kissed Bucky’s head softly. “I’m gonna go get the bath ready for you. Holler if you need anything.”

Steve went to walk over to the tiny bathroom when Bucky grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to him. “Check my right pocket?”

Steve humored him. He reached his hand into the right pocket of Bucky’s slacks. He pulled out a wad of cash. Wow. Bucky wasn’t kidding; this was more money than they’d seen in a long time.

“A few more fights like this, and you can sign up for those art classes I was telling you about,” Bucky said.

Steve shook his head. “We should save it. This isn’t a sure thing, Buck. Who knows how long it’ll be until one of us has a reliable flow of money coming in? It’s your money. I just think you should save it… for a rainy day.”

“These past few years have been rainy, Steve,” Bucky grumbled.

“Exactly. This could be our umbrella,” Steve said seriously. “Spend it on what you want to. I just think holding on to it might be better for us in the long run.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Maybe. I guess you’re right.”

“Wow, you must have hit your head pretty hard there,” Steve teased. “Did you just say I was right?”

Bucky laughed. “Well, it was bound to happen eventually.”

Steve smiled softly at him. He could never stay mad at him for long. He leaned in and kissed Bucky’s lips gently.

Bucky let out a low hiss. “Ouch. I’m a little sore, Stevie.”

Steve gave him a disapproving look. “And to think you wanted to mess around in the tub.”

“You made your point,” Bucky said. “It was a dumb idea. I won’t suggest it again. Especially not after a fight.”

“Please tell me you’ll give it a little bit of time before you start training for another one,” Steve said nervously. “You can’t keep going on like this, Buck.”

Bucky frowned. “We can’t exactly afford for me to take a break. After a few more fights with a good payout, I’ll think about slowing down. I’ve gotta keep taking fights. It’s the only way to keep getting booked. There are a lot of guys who can take a couple of punches. I do well because I don’t stay down. It keeps people interested. If people lose that interest, no one’s gonna want to book me.”

“Would that really be the end of the world?” Steve asked hopefully. “You could go back to the docks. I could see if Ms. Henderson needs an extra set of hands down at the bakery--”

“You know that’s not the answer,” Bucky said defeatedly. “I don’t want to have this fight again tonight, Steve. I just want to clean myself off and go to bed.”

Steve nodded. “I’ll go set up the tub, then.”

“Thank you,” Bucky said appreciatively.

Steve smiled tightly as he walked away letting his hand fall away from Bucky’s grasp. He walked into the compact bathroom. He really wasn’t complaining; it was much better than the place they were living in last year. That place didn’t even have it’s own bathroom. Bucky’s agent had arranged for them to rent this place for next to nothing. It was a massive upgrade from where they were before. Still, it was a little cramped.

He turned on the water and let the tub fill up. Steve was relieved that the water was warm tonight. Bucky needed to soak in warm water, not something just lukewarm. He grabbed another washcloth and put it next to a bar of soap. He went placed a towel next to the tub on the hook.

Steve made his way back into the kitchenette. Bucky was in the chair, asleep. Steve smiled to himself. He walked over to Bucky and kissed his forehead gingerly. “Buck. Come on, I’ve got the tub ready for you.”

Bucky whined. “Five minutes.”

“It’ll be cold in five minutes,” Steve said softly. “I’ll help you. Come on. Let’s get you up, Buck.”

Buck moaned as he forced himself up from the chair. He hobbled over to the bathroom, not even pretending to lean on Steve for support. When he got into the bathroom, Steve helped him peel his clothes off. Steve couldn’t help but stare at all the bruises that painted Bucky’s smooth skin. The purple and black splotches decorated most of his body. His ribs looked particularly messed up.

Steve gently touched them and Bucky hissed in pain. “Sorry. Maybe we should take you to see the doctor--”

“You know we can’t afford that,” Bucky said as he slowly lowered himself into the tub.

Steve crossed his arms in a manner that was almost chastising. “What about that wad of cash I just took out of your pocket?”

Bucky made a face. “We might as well give him the whole thing, then. You know it’s not cheap to see the doctor. What if you need to make a trip--”

“It looks like you need the trip,” Steve cut him off. “I’m not the only one here who needs to be taken care of, Buck.”

“I had the trainer take a look at it. It should be healed in a few days,” Bucky said dismissively. “I promise, it’s nothing to worry about. If it doesn’t feel better by next week, I’ll get it looked at. I’m gonna get injured, Stevie. It’s an occupational hazard.”

Steve looked away from him for a moment. He wasn’t going to say that this is exactly why he didn’t want Bucky in this profession anymore. He wasn’t going to tell him that if it was going to be this bad than Steve wouldn’t have agreed to this arrangement in the first place. He looked back and forced a smile onto his face. “Do you need any help? If not, I’ll get you something to wear to bed and set everything up for tonight.”

Bucky shook his head. “I’m okay for now. Thanks, Stevie.”

Steve grabbed Bucky’s hand and kissed it sweetly. “Call if you need me.”

“I will. I promise,” Bucky said sincerely.

Steve smiled as he stood up and made his way into the bedroom. He took out a tank top and long shorts for Bucky to wear to bed with some underwear. Then he went over to the bed and move the blanket down on Bucky’s side of the bed.

Steve made his way back into the bathroom. “I’ve got some clothes ready for you, if you’re ready to come out. If you want to soak some more, then that’s fine too.”

“I just want to go to bed,” Bucky said exhaustedly.

Steve took the towel and handed it to Bucky as he stepped up and out of the bathtub. After Bucky dried himself off, Steve handed him the clothes and helped him get dressed. Then he led him over to the bed. Bucky nestled into his pillow as Steve placed the blanket on top of him. He went to walk away when Bucky stopped him.

“Where are you going?”

“I was just going to clean up the kitchen and the bathroom. It won’t take me too long. I’ll be right back,” Steve said.

Bucky relaxed. “Oh. Okay. I know you don’t like the fighting, but I--”

“I’m not going anywhere, Buck. I just don’t like seeing you like this. It doesn’t change anything, though. You’re stuck with me,” Steve said honestly. It was true. No matter how angry Bucky made him, there was no Steve without Bucky. He could never leave him, especially not over something like this. 

“‘Til the end of the line?” Bucky asked, a sly smile creeping its way onto his face.

“‘Til the end of the line,” Steve affirmed.

Bucky relaxed against the bed as Steve left him alone for a moment. He started in the kitchen, moving the chair back to the table. He put away the bandages and other first aid supplies. He placed them in the top shelf of the small closet that was in the corner of the room. 

Steve placed the blood covered washcloth into the trash. There was no chance that he’d ever be using that one again. He dumped the half melted bags of ice into the sink and shook his head. 

He glanced over to the wad of cash on the table. He found himself selfishly wishing that Bucky had lost. If Bucky had just lost a few times, then he wouldn’t be able to justify this anymore. If Bucky had lost, he’d stop making money. If he stopped making money on the fights, then he’d be forced to enter into another profession. It was a selfish thought, a selfish and foolish thought. Unemployment was at an all time high. Without this, there would be no income coming in. Even if Bucky had wanted something else, it’d be next to impossible to get a job. That was the main reason that they never finished this fight. It all came down to money. Whether they liked it or not, they needed money to survive, just like anybody else did. Once the economy got better, he’d insist that Bucky quit and find something else. It just didn’t seem like that was going to happen anytime soon.

Steve pushed those thoughts out of his head and made his way into the bathroom. This was a much easier clean up. He just hung the towel back on the hook and put the soap under the sink. He walked back into the bedroom. Bucky was already sound asleep, snoring ever so slightly. He looked so peaceful as he slept. He wished that there was some way that this could all stop, and they could go back to the way their life was before all this. They were never rich, but Bucky never had to fight to keep them above water either. It just didn’t seem like there was any end in sight, at least not as far as Steve could see.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been about a week since Bucky’s last fight. He had spent most of his days in Fogwell’s gym working out and training for his next fight. Apparently there were a lot of important people that were going to be attending this. The hope was that some of them might have a fight big in mind for Bucky. A fight amongst one of the big names in the sport. Steve wanted him to lose, and he was sure that Bucky knew it. It wasn’t that Steve said it, he wouldn’t dare, but Bucky would watch him carefully each day in the gym. Steve was really trying his best to seem supportive. He just couldn’t imagine Bucky surviving a fight at the next level, he was already getting the shit beat out of him in the ammeture ring. He’d be six feet under if he faced the pros.

Steve was at the gym watching him train. Right now it was just the two of them. His trainer had taken off for the day and the gym owner let Bucky stay as long as he liked if he made sure he locked up after he was done.

Bucky was finishing up when he walked over to Steve and kissed his lips softly. “Come on, let me teach you some stuff before we head out.”

Steve laughed, he genuinely laughed. “I don’t think any amount of training is gonna help me, Buck. I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll spend most of my life getting my ass kicked.”

Bucky shook his head. “You’ve just gotta be able to hold them off long enough for me to get there and bail your ass out of trouble.”

Steve shrugged. “I don’t know, Buck--”

Bucky grabbed his arm and dragged him over to one of the dangling bags. He walked behind him and grasped Steve’s hands from behind. “The key is you have to make sure that your hands are balled up but not too tight. Make sure that your thumb is outside of your hand.” He tapped Steve’s foot with own and repositioned him in a stance. It wasn’t exactly comfortable. “So when you punch, make sure you use the hand that’s closer to your body. When you extend your arm, make sure that you put your whole body weight behind it, shift your body with the punch. This way it’s like you’re hitting them with your whole body instead of just your hand.”

Steve nodded as Bucky guided him through the motions a few times before releasing him. “Now, show me.”

Steve sighed as he did exactly what Bucky told him to do, making sure that he made contact with the bag this time. He was actually surprised by how hard he hit it. It didn’t move the way that it did when Bucky hit it, but still it went further than Steve was anticipating. Maybe there was something to this after all.

“Whoo!” Bucky cheered loudly, clapping his hands together. “That was awesome, Stevie.”

Steve smiled to himself as he turned to face Bucky. “It wasn’t too bad?”

“Nah, it was a great first effort,” Bucky said, sounding genuine. “With some practice, you’ll be unstoppable. Those bullies better watch out.”

Steve shook his head as he walked away from the bag and back over to Bucky. “It’s not like I go looking for these fights--”

Bucky laughed this time. “You just don’t know when to leave well enough alone. Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with minding your own business or not picking a fight with a dude three times your size.”

“I will if you do,” Steve said, immediately wishing he hadn’t. It wasn’t a fair comparison, and Bucky as just trying to be helpful.

Bucky’s face contorted as if he’d just been hit in the face. “Are we really gonna do this right now?”

Steve shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. I went too far, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Bucky nodded, but Steve could tell that he wasn’t convinced that it was an innocent comment. “I’m just gonna get a few more reps in. I’ll meet you at the apartment?”

Steve’s face fell. “Buck, I didn’t mean--”

“I know,” Bucky said, his voice sounded tense. “I just don’t know how much longer I’m gonna be, and I know you don’t love seeing me train and stuff. I got it. I’ll meet you at home.”

“Bucky--”

“I’ll see you later, Steve,” Bucky said sternly. This wasn’t up for discussion. 

Steve took the hint and walked over to the exit. “I guess I’ll figure out what we’re gonna do for dinner.”

“Sounds good,” Bucky said with a hint of irritation in his voice. 

Steve shook his head as he practically stormed out of the gym, slamming the door behind him. He said he was sorry, he didn’t need to be guilted over this. It was an honest mistake, and he’d had a point. It was comical, Bucky telling him to stop picking fights, when he got his ass kicked on a regular basis for money. At least Bucky chose to get into these fights, Steve didn’t go looking for them. He just wasn’t the type of person who could look the other way when people were being rude or disrespectful. 

He got back to the apartment and made some bologna sandwiches for them. He hadn’t gone to the butcher shop since Bucky’s last fight. He felt weird about touching that money. He didn’t want them to just blow it on a week’s worth of food. It worked out, though; he wouldn’t have gone all out tonight. He was too annoyed at Bucky to even think about making something elaborate, not that it would have tasted good. Steve was an atrocious cook.

About an hour later, Bucky walked through the door. “I’m gonna go wash off.”

“I made a sandwich for you. It’s on the counter, Steve said, not looking up from his sketchbook.

“You made dinner?” Bucky asked. 

Steve nodded, still not looking at him. “Bologna.”

Bucky groaned and threw his head back, his hair being thrown back with it. “Again?”

“It’s all we had,” Steve deadpanned. 

Bucky blinked. “We can pick some stuff up tomorrow.”

“With what money?” Steve asked.

“What the hell are you talking about? My winnings. I feel like food is a practical use for it, Steve. It doesn’t have to be prime rib, but maybe something different from bologna every now and again,” Bucky said, rubbing his forehead. “I don’t really think that’s asking too much or being reckless with it.”

“I just didn’t want to touch it unless you felt comfortable with it,” Steve said slowly. “It’s a lot of money, and it’s yours. I didn’t want you to think that I was just spending it without discussing it with you first.”

Bucky stared at him. “Steve, it’s _our_ money. We’re a team. We might not be bound by law, but the same stuff applies, at least in my head. What’s mine is yours. There is no mine and yours, just ours. I honestly can’t even believe that we’re having this conversation right now.”

“I know that,” Steve said honestly, feeling guilty. “I just meant that I wanted us to discuss it. It’s a lot and you earned it. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to do anything specific with it.”

Bucky’s expression softened. “Well you shot down the art lesson idea, so no. There is nothing specific that I want to do with the cash. That said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using it for practical things, in this case food that is not bologna.”

Steve laughed and looked down at his feet. “We can make a trip to the grocer tomorrow. Maybe we can get some ham or turkey. I’m sure you have to bulk up. Maybe I can get some chicken.”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah we can go together and pick some stuff out. If it makes you feel any better we’ll only bring some of the cash with us. This way we can’t just spend it all on food.”

“I like that idea,” Steve said honestly. “I just don’t want us to blow it all in one place.”

Bucky sighed. “Yeah, I get that, Stevie. I really do. I just also think that we need to accept the fact that spending it on stuff that we need isn’t blowing it. I know it’d be nice to put it into our umbrella fund, but we’ve gotta take care of our needs first, otherwise we won’t make it there.”

“You’re right,” Steve relented. “I’m sorry… about a few things.”

“Me too,” Bucky said kissing his forehead sweetly. “I should have let it go at the gym.”

Steve shook his head. “I shouldn’t have said it. You’re just trying to keep us afloat, I know you wouldn’t be doing this if there were any other option. I just hate seeing you get hurt like that. You know I’m just terrified that I’m gonna lose you in that ring.”

Bucky frowned. “I get that, but it isn’t something common, Stevie. It’s rare that someone dies in the ring--”

“Yeah but it’s still a risk, Buck,” Steve folded his arms.

“Well, yeah, but there’s a risk that I could get struck by lightning just walking down the street too--”

“It’s not the same and you know it,” Steve said seriously. “There’s an elevated risk because of all the hits you take and dish out. It’s not the same as just walking down the street.”

“You think I don’t know that? I’m well aware, Stevie, and it scares me too. You said it yourself, it’s not like I’m following my passion here. I’m doing what I’ve gotta do, and it turns out that I’m pretty good at it. It doesn’t help when you make me feel guilty about it or remind me of the risks. I know, Stevie. I don’t like it any more than you do,” Bucky said. “I’m gonna go wash off real quick and then we can eat together. Can we please talk about anything else when I get out?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah. We won’t talk about the boxing.”

“Thank you,” Bucky said as he walked into the bathroom without another look at Steve.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve went to the next fight and made sure he stayed the entire time. It wasn’t as brutal as the last one, and Bucky won it with ease. That was the last thing that Steve wanted. Bucky did amazing. The other guy was barely able to land a punch against him. He was sure that the organizers that came to watch Bucky fight were impressed. That meant that there would be offers coming up like crazy, and Bucky would be fighting guys who were professional. He’d be in even more danger than before.

They were in the kitchenette after the fight. Steve was putting some bandages on a few shallow cuts that Bucky had acquired. 

“O'Malley said it went pretty well,” Bucky said. “Apparently the organizers were pretty impressed with what I could do.”

“You were on fire tonight,” Steve said, trying to sound encouraging. “They should be impressed.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “I thought you’d be more upset about this.”

“I’m not thrilled,” he said honestly. “The only thing me telling you I’m upset will do is cause a fight. I don’t want to fight anymore, Buck. I just…”

“I know,” Bucky said softly. “I’m nervous about what this means too. Those guys are… in a different league.”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “It’s not like you haven’t gotten your ass handed to you by some of the other guys you’ve fought in the past. I just worry. You know that’s where this all comes from, right?”

“I know,” Bucky said as he kissed Steve’s lips sweetly. “I love you, Stevie, and I promise that no matter what, I will fight every fight to make sure that I come back to you.”

Steve leaned his forehead against Bucky’s. “Don’t make any promises that you can’t keep, Barnes.”

Bucky smirked as he stood up, and picked Steve up in his arms. Steve wrapped his legs around Bucky’s waist and kissed him sweetly. He might drive him insane, but he loved Bucky more than anything else in the world. 

Bucky walked them over to the bedroom and laid Steve on the bed gently. He kissed him softly moving towards his ear and whispering. “We’ve gotta be quiet, love. I have no idea if Mrs. Goldstein is home next door, and if she hears anything…” his voice trailed off.

Steve nodded. The last thing that they needed was to be caught. They definitely could not afford bail or a lawyer, even with Bucky’s winnings. 

Bucky’s lips met Steve’s again as he deepened the kiss. They hadn’t done this in a while since Bucky had been injured lately. Steve closed his eyes and he felt Bucky’s lips trailing featherlight kisses down his neck. Steve felt Bucky tug at his shirt, unbuttoning it in one swift motion. Steve didn’t even care that he could hear some of the buttons falling on the floor. He’d sew them back on later. Bucky then made quick work of his undershirt, tossing it on the ground. 

Steve felt the cold air hit his torso, and he felt himself flush red as Bucky began pressing sweet kisses to his torso. Steve tilted his head back as Bucky began to undo his slacks. Steve helped kick off his pants and Bucky made quick work of his boxer shorts. 

Steve looked up at Bucky. His shirt was still off from the when Steve was cleaning him up. Steve sat up and tugged at the waistband of Bucky’s boxing shorts. Bucky grinned devilishly as he helped Steve get them off of him. Bucky reached over to the bedside table and grabbed the vaseline.

He kissed Steve’s lips slowly before he picked up opened up the jar of vaseline and generously coated his fingers with it. He took his hand and began to stroke Steve’s member gingerly. Steve clenched his fist and brought it to his mouth, biting down on it to keep from moaning. If Bucky wanted him to keep quiet, he had a funny way of showing it.

Bucky shushed him affectionately, wearing a shiteating grin. Steve could tell that it was all Bucky could do to keep from laughing at the position he’d just put Steve in. “You good, doll?”

Steve glared at him, not daring to move his hand from his mouth. He wasn’t about to let Mrs. Goldstein get suspicious over this. 

Bucky chuckled to himself as he stroked Steve a few more times before he brought his attention to Steve’s hole. He slowly inserted one finger into Steve. Steve just breathed into it, doing his best to ignore how rough Bucky’s calloused hands felt against his sensitive skin. 

“You good?” Bucky whispered. Steve made eye contact. Bucky was looking in Steve’s direction but not making eye contact. It was clear that he was listening for the neighbors. Maybe one of the floorboards had creaked or something. The infrastructure wasn’t exactly state-of-the-art.

Steve nodded when Bucky’s eyes finally made their way back to him. Bucky let out a breath as he added another finger gently. Steve let out half a gasp before he covered his mouth. Bucky halted his motions. It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. If anyone had heard them, they weren’t making any calls or coming to investigate. There was no noise coming from any of the surrounding apartments. They were probably okay.

After a moment, Bucky brought his attention back to Steve. He captured Steve’s lips quickly, a silent reminder to stay quiet. Steve gave a nod as Bucky slowly inserted a third finger into Steve. Steve bit down on his lip and pressed his palms against his eyelids, trying his best not to make a sound. 

Bucky watched him carefully. He was always so attentive, ensuring that Steve wasn’t in pain. He tapped Steve’s knee with his free hand. Steve met his eyes and nodded. He was fine.

Bucky eyed him suspiciously before he continued his motions. He was making sure to take extra care and spent more time than usual on this part. He clearly didn’t believe that Steve was perfectly fine. If they were certain that the neighbors weren’t around, Steve would have yelled at him to hurry it up. He didn’t have that luxury this time around.

After what felt like an eternity, Bucky removed his fingers and began coating his cock in the vaseline. He pressed a soft kiss to Steve’s kneecap before he slowly entered him. Steve felt his hips buck up against his will. He gave Bucky an apologetic look as the bed squeaked loudly. 

Bucky didn’t quite freeze this time. He just continued to slowly enter Steve. He pressed a finger to Steve’s lips. They both waited to make sure that they didn’t hear anything from the surrounding apartments. After a few moments, Bucky gave Steve a nod. 

Steve nodded back. He was fine and comfortable. Bucky smiled softly as he slowly began thrusting in and out of Steve. Steve threw his head back as Bucky was moving painfully slow. He understood that if the bed made too much noise, it could raise suspicion. It wasn’t as if they ever had any female company, and he didn’t trust these noisy neighbors for shit. 

The build-up was so soft and sensual that it was agonizing. Bucky made sure to graze his sweet spot with each thrust. They’d been together so long that Bucky knew Steve’s body better than he knew his own. In most cases, it was a gift. In this case, it was agonizing. His body wanted to react to every miniscule movement that Bucky made. Instead, he was forced to stay as still and quiet as possible. 

Bucky must have been getting close because he thrusted into Steve abruptly, causing Steve’s back to arch up into him. He managed to stay quiet as he slowly adjusted himself closer to Bucky, trying to eliminate the space between them. Steve grabbed one of Bucky’s hand and clutched it tightly.

Bucky nodded as he brought Steve’s hand to his lips, kissing it softly before he continued thrusting in and out of him. He continued slowly, but his rhythm was all over the place. Bucky was close, and Steve could feel himself getting closer too. Each of Bucky’s movements, was bringing Steve nearer and nearer to release.

Steve let go of Bucky’s hand and brought it to his own cock, Bucky’s painfully slow pace was too agonizing. Steve had to literally take matters into his own hands. Bucky let out a low chuckle at that. Steve knew that there would be a comment on the value of patience later, but at the moment, he couldn’t care less.

After only a few strokes, Steve was spilling all over his own hand. He didn’t even care about the mess, as he felt relief was over him. He threw his head back against the bed, not even bothering to care if it made a noise. Bucky must have been too close to notice or care because he didn’t halt his thrusts to see if anyone heard. He just kept at his pace for a few more thrusts before he released.

After a few moments, Bucky slowly pulled out of Steve and crawled over to the other side of the bed. “We’ve really got to move into a house or something where we don’t have to worry about neighbors.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, well, forgive me if I don’t hold my breath. That’s not exactly in our budget.”

“Not yet…” Bucky said as he rolled onto his right side to face Steve. “Who knows. This… partnership could be a big deal for us.”

“Nothing’s happened yet, Buck,” Steve said. “Let’s not count our chickens before they hatch. You’ve gotta win at that level first and then you’ve gotta win a lot. We’re not out of the woods yet and…” Steve’s voice trailed off.

“And I’ve gotta stay in fighting condition,” Bucky finished for him. “It’ll be no good to us if I wind up in the hospital or worse.”

Steve looked away from him. He couldn’t picture Bucky in a hospital, and he definitely didn’t want to think about burying him. The worst part was, Steve wasn’t even sure how he’d be able to afford a hospital visit… or a proper burial. He prayed that he wouldn’t have to find out.

“I’m gonna clean myself up,” Steve said as he kissed Bucky sweetly and stood up from the bed. “You’re welcome to join me. If the water’s running we won’t have to be quite so quiet.”

Bucky practically jumped out of the bed and chased Steve into the bathroom.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve woke up the next morning to hushed whispers coming from the other room. Steve groaned as he sat up and looked at the clock. It was barely 8 AM. Who the hell was in the apartment?

Steve got out of the bed and walked over to the door. Maybe he’d be able to overhear something if he got closer. If only his hearing wasn’t atrocious. He was only able to make out a few words. “Fight.” “Training.” “Kill count.” Steve felt his heart sink as he stepped away from the door slowly. If this was a promoter or someone setting up a fight, then it couldn’t be good. The sport was dangerous as it was. Bucky didn’t need to fight someone with a “kill count.”

He shook his head. Maybe he misheard. He didn’t even hear most of the conversation. He could have been wrong. There were stranger things than Steve mishearing something. He tried not to get ahead of himself. Steve sat back down on the bed, trying to stop himself from going to the worst case scenario.

After a few moments the whispers stopped. Steve didn’t move. He was always cautious when there was someone else over. He never knew who was or wasn’t aware that he and Bucky were living together… in a one bedroom apartment. It was better not to raise any questions.

The door slowly opened and Bucky crept in the room. He saw Steve and stopped. “Hey. I thought you might still be asleep. Sorry if I woke you.”

“Who was that?” Steve asked quietly. 

Bucky frowned. “It was O’Malley. He came by with last night’s winnings… and a new fight.”

Steve felt his face fall. “That’s kind of soon, isn’t it?”

Bucky shrugged. “I don’t know. This is kind of uncharted territory, Steve. Right now, I’m just happy for a job. The winnings from last night were pretty nice. We can add it to your umbrella fund, after we give Mrs. Sanders the rent.”

“Who are you fighting?” Steve asked even though he wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear the answer.

Bucky tensed at that. “This guy Hodge.”

“Gilmore Hodge?” Steve asked, his eyes widening. “I read about him in the paper the other day. He’s pretty violent, Buck.”

“It’s a violent sport, Stevie,” Bucky said dismissively.

Steve frowned. “He’s brutal. Hasn’t he ended the careers of a few guys? I don’t like this.”

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose, and closed his eyes. “I can’t exactly be picky here. I don’t have options. This is the first fight that I’m being offered in a new league. I can’t really turn this down.”

Steve paused. Bucky had a point. He couldn’t be picky. These jobs didn’t come along too frequently either and this was the first time that he’d be in a real professional league. Turning down the first fight they offered him wouldn’t do him any favors. “I know. You can’t blame me for being concerned.”

Bucky crossed his arms and nodded. “Yeah. I’m not thrilled about it either, but this could be a really good thing.”

Steve’s felt his stomach fall at that. He held his tongue. Bucky was right. This could be good for them. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice in the matter either. “You’re right. This really might be a good thing. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll… back off. I know this isn’t the type of work you really want to be doing.”

Bucky’s expression softened at that as he crawled up the bed and captured Steve’s lips with his own softly. “I know it’s coming from the best possible place. I appreciate your concern, Stevie. It’s just hard… being reminded of all the dangers that are coming from this very necessary evil.”

Steve sighed as he leaned his forehead against Bucky’s. “I know. I just wish you didn’t have to do this. I wish I could contribute more… or at all.”

“There aren’t too many jobs out there, for someone like me _or _someone like you. These are tough times for everybody. Once the economy gets better, I’ll quit and we’ll both find something more reasonable for work,” Bucky said, his breath hot against Steve’s skin. “I know you’d do the same for me if it were the other way around.”

“Of course,” Steve agress. It’s true. If the roles were reversed nothing on heaven or Earth would be able to stop Steve from providing for Bucky. “It doesn’t make it any easier to watch some behemoth kick the living crap out of you.”

Bucky was absentmindedly playing with Steve’s fingers. He let out a low laugh. “I would certainly hope not. Still, you and me… we’re fighters. We always have been and we always will be. God be with anyone who tries to get in our way. Right now, we’re fighting to have a roof over our heads, and right now that’s gotta be my fight. Your fight is cleaning me up when I get home so that I can do it all again. We’re in this together. I know it may not always feel that way, but we are.”

Steve nodded. “You’re right. We’re always a team, even when it feels like we’re at odds.”

Bucky laughed lightly and he brought Steve’s hand up to his lips and kissed it sweetly. “That’s because we’re not _really_ at odds. It’s just a difference of opinion on team strategy.”

Steve raised his eyebrows. “Sure it is.” He squeezed Bucky’s hand tightly. “You’ll be careful, right? It’s no use if you can’t come home for me to clean you up.”

“I promise, I’ll be careful. O’Malley’s getting me some tapes of this guy’s last few fights. I’m making sure that I go in as prepared as possible for this fight,” Bucky said, squeezing Steve’s hand back. 

“Good,” Steve said. “We’re running low on bandages, and I’m worried that your face can only take so many hits before something gets permanently damaged.”

Bucky’s mouth dropped in mock outrage. “You’ll up and leave if my face gets ruined, Stevie? So much for being a team.”

Steve let out a laugh as he kissed Bucky chastely. “You’d have to do a lot worse than mess up your face to get rid of me. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, Buck. Till the end of the line… I don’t make the rules.”

“Liar,” Bucky said as he kissed the top of Steve’s head. “You’re the one who’s made all the rules. You’re also the one who breaks them all.”

Steve shoved him playfully. “Liar. If anything, I’m the only one who follows them.”

Bucky snorted. “Says the guy telling me not to fight, who gets into back alley fights for a thrill.”

Steve felt his jaw drop at that. He didn’t exactly have a retort for that one. Bucky had a point, whether Steve wanted to admit it or not. “That’s different…”

It was Bucky’s turn to laugh… loudly too. He shook his head as he began kissing Steve deeply. “You know, I’m just teasing, right? I’m glad that you stand up for what you believe in--for what’s right. It makes me proud. I just wish you’d pick and choose your battles sometimes.”

Steve groaned as he ignored Bucky’s comment and just kissed him back passionately. This was so much nicer than fighting about the boxing--which seemed to be all they did lately. Bucky hummed against his lips and Steve felt him slowly peel himself away from the kiss.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said as he got up off the bed in one fluid motion. “I’ve gotta get down to the gym. There’s a lot of work to do leading up to this match.”

Steve moaned at the loss and threw his head back. “I guess I’ll go to the market and pick up some food for the week.”

Bucky nodded. “That’s a nice idea. The cash is on the kitchen counter. I’ll be back in a few hours… unless you want to stop by the gym after you do your shopping.”

Steve shook his head. “If you’re gonna be watching that Hodge guy brutalize his opponents on tape, you can count me out. That’s only gonna make me even more nervous about you taking this fight.”

Bucky put his hands on his hips and let out a sigh. “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe later in the week? You know, when we’re working on technique and stuff. Maybe I can show you some more stuff for your next street fight.”

Steve smile softly at that. “Maybe. It could be nice. I’m always just worried that we’re gonna get caught. I feel like we never behave when we’re there… alone.”

“I’ll do my best to keep my hands to myself,” Bucky said with a devilish smile on his face. It was a lie… a terrible lie.

“I’ll believe it when pigs fly. You’ve never been one to keep your hands to yourself.” Steve crossed his arms.

Bucky licked his lips. “Can you blame me? How am I supposed to keep my hands to myself when you’re standing in front of me looking absolutely sinful.”

Steve snorted. “Well you’re the only one to _ever_ describe me as ‘sinful.’ ‘Sickly’ is the word most people go with, Buck.”

“Then they must be fucking blind,” Bucky said as he haunched over and kissed Steve one last time. “I really do have to go. I’ll see you tonight.”

Steve pouted. “Have fun studying. I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back,” Bucky called as he walked in the kitchen towards the door.

“How can I? You’re takin’ all the stupid with you,” Steve yelled back as he heard the door slam closed.

Steve threw himself back on the bed and rubbed his forehead. How was this their life now? He knew that he had no right to complain, a lot of people had it far worse than they did. Still, at least their partners weren’t getting involved in a dangerous sport just to ensure that they had food on the table and a roof over their heads. It _was_ more than most others in their old neighborhood had. 

Steve got up off the bed and walked into the kitchen where the winnings were. He picked up the cash and stowed it away in the empty can behind the stove. His small arms were able to easily slip behind the unused oven. It was a pretty good hiding space, his arms were really the only ones that could fit back there. Even getting the can back there in the first place had been a struggle. It wouldn’t be easy for anyone to steal.

He left a bit of the winnings out for his trip to the grocer. Bucky was going to need good healthy meals if he was going to stand a chance against Hodge. He just hated making the trip to the grocer. He couldn’t help but feel guilty seeing how many people were struggling to have enough cash to bring home enough food so that their family didn’t starve. Steve and Bucky barely had enough money to make sure they had enough to eat… this was the first time he’d be purchasing something of substance. He wasn’t sure if he could handle the guilt of getting something luxurious while everyone around them was suffering. This was for Bucky. His Bucky, who desperately needed to be well fed and well rested in order to have a fighting chance against this guy.

Steve took a deep breath as he walked back into the bedroom and got dressed. Once he was decent, he stuck the cash into his pocket as he made his way out the door. He walked down the hall, trying his best to avoid eye contact with the neighbors. He didn’t like this place much. It wasn’t like the old neighborhood. There had been such a community there, everyone looked out for each other in the old building. Here people kept much more to themselves unless they were busy being nosy for gossip’s sake. 

He walked down the steps and exited the apartment complex. Once he was outside, he felt relief wash over him. It was strange that the outdoors made him feel more at ease than their own home. He knew it was stupid and that he was being ungrateful, they were lucky to have a roof over their heads at all. It just didn’t feel like home. Brooklyn didn’t feel much like home at all lately. He could barely recognize the place as he walked to the grocer. There used to be such vibrant people walking the streets with kids playing and people laughing. It was a community. Now it was much more sullen. Kids hardly played in the streets at all anymore. The only time that anyone ever even greeted him was to ask for change.

Steve finally made his way to the grocer. His heart dropped as he glanced around the shop. It was worse than he remembered it. If there were any other patrons there aside from him, he didn’t see them. It was awful. It looked like a ghost town. The shelves were stocked. There was plenty of food. People just didn’t have enough money to pay for it. 

Steve swallowed as he looked around the store. He couldn’t remember the last time that he and Bucky had felt secure enough with their finances to splurge for anything more expensive than bologna. He should have felt relieved that they could eat something more substantial but he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Not only was he more fortunate than most of the others in the area, but also he felt terrible for giving Bucky a hard time about the fight. They would be like the others, hoping to get a good spot on line at the soup kitchen if it weren’t for Bucky’s boxing. Even though things were getting better for them, it was clear that it wasn’t the case for everyone else.

Steve picked up some ham, more bologna and bread. He barely made eye contact with the clerk, he knew that it was an odd sight for him to buying anything in addition to the bread and bologna. He didn’t want any questions, there was no logical reason for _Steve_ to have this money. Everyone knew that he didn’t work. They likely assumed that he was just mooching off Bucky--which wasn’t exactly untrue. He just didn’t want anyone to start asking questions… like why Bucky would continue to support someone who wasn’t contributing anything to the household. If people started asking those questions, then it was only a matter of time before someone was able to put two and two together. 

Steve wasn’t even too worried about himself if anyone found out. He was used to getting his ass kicked on a regular basis. He was more worried about Bucky. Sure Bucky could hold his own, but if word got out, it’d be impossible for him to find work, fighting or otherwise. After that it’d only be a matter of time before they were back on the streets and at the soup kitchen. It was the main reason that Steve insisted on saving most of Bucky’s winnings. They needed a safety plan. There was no telling when anyone would figure them out.

Steve pushed those thoughts out of his head as he took his bag of groceries. Nothing in this world was guaranteed. Their situation could change at any moment, but worrying about it wouldn’t solve anything. He went to leave when he caught a glimpse of the Newsprint that was on display at the counter. It was about that fighter Hodge--the guy that Bucky was supposed to fight.

Steve took a few coins out of his pocket and handed them to the clerk. “I’ll take a copy of the paper.”

He eyed him suspiciously for a moment before he took the coins and handed Steve the newspaper. “Have a good day,” he said sketically, watching Steve carefully.

Steve gave him a polite nod as he took the paper and walked out the door of the shop.


	5. Chapter 5

When Steve got home the first thing that he did was put the money back in it’s spot behind the stove. He placed the groceries on the counter as he took the newspaper and sat down at the table. His eyes scanned the paper quickly, hoping that the headline was just a dramatization to grab readers’ attention. He read the words carefully, making sure that he understood each sentence perfectly. 

He felt his heart fill up with dread. This was not good. Hodge had just killed someone in the ring. Sure it wasn’t common and he was sure that Bucky would try to spin it that it’s safer because “what’s the likelihood that somethin’ like that will happen again so soon?” Still, he couldn’t help but feel himself get filled with anxiety. He didn’t want Bucky to fight this guy. They could figure something else out. He just wanted to make sure that Bucky was safe. None of the other stuff mattered if he had him.

Steve stood up from the chair and went over to the groceries. He opened up the bread and started making a sandwich. He couldn’t control the fact that Bucky was going to fight this guy, but he could make sure that he had something to eat. He was going to need all his strength if he was going to have a fighting chance against this guy.

Steve took the sandwich and put it in one of the bags that they had lying around the apartment. He practically ran out of the complex and onto the sidewalk. He made his way down to Fogwell’s gym. He entered the gymnasium and walked past the few other boxers that were using the space. He made his way over to the back corner of the gym. He entered the small room. 

The lights were dead with the exception of some film projecting on the wall. Steve took a moment for his eyes to adjust before he made his way over to Bucky, and sat down on his right. O’Malley was on the other side of Bucky, the two of them were taking notes. If either of them noticed him come in, he couldn’t tell. 

Steve reached under the table and grabbed Bucky’s hand, giving it a squeeze before he let go. Bucky turned to look at him. He looked confused for a moment before he realized it was Steve and he relaxed, giving him a smirk. 

“You studying?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, O’Malley and I have been watching some of these old tapes to get a idea of how Hodge fights. We’re trying to figure out any weaknesses. Let me know if you see anything we can use.”

Steve frowned. “Have you read the paper?”

Bucky looked at him oddly. “No… why? When’s the last time we actually got around to reading the paper?”

“I picked it up at the grocer this afternoon.” He placed the bag with the sandwich on the table in front of Bucky. “I made you a ham sandwich.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Ham… really? I thought we were sticking with bologna.”

Steve shrugged. “You’re gonna need your strength for this. Apparently his last opponent in the ring didn’t make it out.”

Bucky’s face fell for a moment before he gave a nod. “Yeah O’Malley mentioned it. I didn’t know it was in the paper.”

“You’re still considering taking this fight?” Steve asked under his breath.

“Yeah. Our situation hasn’t changed, Stevie. We need the money that could come with this deal. This is the fight they want me in. It’s not like I’ve got a ton of offers coming in. Beggars can’t be choosers.” Bucky turned back to look at the screen.

Steve nodded, but didn’t say anything. He wasn’t going to dispute this. Bucky was right, and Steve knew that this would be the end result. He just needed to know that Bucky was aware of what he was getting himself into. It wasn’t going to be pretty, but if Bucky knew the risks this was his choice, and it was a selfless choice at that.

“I guess, I’ll leave you to it then,” Steve said, squeezing Bucky’s hand one last time. “I’ll see you when you get home. Don’t study too hard.”

“I’ll do my best,” Bucky said with a smile. “I’ll see you later.”

The next few weeks were pretty uneventful. Bucky would go to the gym and either study more of the films or train with O’Malley. Steve would either stop by the gym or take care of the apartment.

After a lot of convincing, Bucky was able to get Steve to buy them some new clothes. He was going to be promoting the fight, and needed to look the part, and Steve’s clothes were much too big on him, he’d lost a lot of weight since the economic crisis had started… and he was pretty small to begin with. So Bucky won the argument and they were able to pick up a few new outfits… nothing fancy, but at least they fit.

Steve went down to the gym one afternoon. It was a few weeks before the big fight, and Steve had been going down there more and more frequently. Bucky had certainly bulked up a lot, and his form was looking good--or so O’Malley said, Steve really couldn’t tell the difference between the way Bucky punched before and the way he punched now, but if they were happy with it that must have been good news.

O’Malley wasn’t there that afternoon, it was just Bucky. He was hitting the punching bag, he was in the zone. As much as Steve hated the fighting, he had to admit that Bucky looked _good_. Steve walked over to him and Bucky immediately stopped what he was doing. 

“Hey. I didn’t think you were coming today. It’s getting a little late,” Bucky said, his face breaking into a huge smile. “I’m glad you came by.”

Steve shrugged. “I thought that you might need some encouragement.”

Bucky nodded as he glanced around the gym. After a moment he tugged on the collar of Steve’s shirt and kissed him deeply. Steve felt his face begin to redden, he was startled by Bucky’s abrupt display of affection. They hadn’t really had much time together since Bucky started training. The only time that they spent together was usually much more somber, filled with tense silence--unspoken arguments that neither of them dared to voice. This was different. This reminded Steve of how they used to be… before the stock market lost everyone’s money. He and Bucky used to be so carefree and spontaneous. Lately all they did was fight and get stressed out about Bucky’s upcoming boxing match… and money.

They broke apart and Steve blinked at him. “That was…”

“I’m just tired of us being mad or tense about something we’ve got no control over,” Bucky cut him off. “I’m gonna train and you’re gonna worry. It’s gonna be our normal until this whole shit show of an economy gets figured out. Doesn’t mean that I don’t miss you when I’m here.”

“I miss you too,” Steve said and it wasn’t until he said it aloud that he realized how much he really meant it. He missed the way they used to be. He missed spending time with Bucky that wasn’t spent worrying or fighting. He wished they could go back to the ease and carefree nights. He missed not feeling comfortable in their own home either. He felt more comfortable in this gym with Bucky than he did when they were at the apartment. There were so many people around in the building and hardly any of them were friendly. Here it was just the two of them.

Bucky gazed at Steve longingly. “What brought you down here anyway?”

“Nothing,” Steve said honestly. “Just you. I thought you might like some company, the match is getting close and I know when the fight gets nearer you spend more and more of your time here. I figure that I could at least keep you company.”

“Thanks,” Bucky said as he bit his lip. He kissed Steve sweetly again and took his hand in his own. Steve felt the tape around Bucky’s hand brush harshly against his own skin. 

Steve found it oddly comforting that the tape was there for training purposes rather than as bandages used to cover up wounds. This was the first time in a while that Bucky had been without any bruises or bandages covering his scars from the fights. Steve knew that in a few weeks time, that wouldn’t be the case. He’d honestly be grateful if Bucky was covered in bandages… so long as he walked away from that fight in one piece. Steve didn’t even care if Bucky won it or not. The only thing he cared about was that Bucky walked out of that ring and back into their apartment.

Steve was snapped out of his thoughts as Bucky’s free hand rested against his hip, pulling him closer. Steve felt Bucky’s tongue teasing his own. Steve got up on his tip toes to force the kiss a little deeper. Bucky grinned into the kiss as he let go of Steve’s hand and put it on the other hip. Steve’s arms wrapped around Bucky’s neck pulling him closer to his level. 

Bucky picked Steve up, and Steve’s legs wrapped around his waist. This was a much better angle for Steve to deepen the kiss. His hands made their way to Bucky’s hair, he began toying with it and grabbing at it as he kissed Bucky passionately.

Bucky lead Steve over to the ring. He slowly laid Steve down on the floor of the ring. He kissed his neck as he slowly began to unbutton his shirt.

“Wait--wait, wait,” Steve said as he propped himself up on his elbows. You’re sure no one else is here, right?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said with a small smile. “Everyone else left a few hours ago. I promised O’Malley that I’d lock up when I was done.”

Steve laughed as he kissed him sweetly. “Maybe you should lock the doors. We don’t want anyone walking in.”

“Who else is gonna come by at this hour?” Bucky asked as he laughed to himself. “You’re too much, Stevie.”

“I’m being serious!” Steve hissed. “You’re not the only one who uses this gym. Someone might want to stop by for a quick workout.”

Bucky looked at him and then looked at the door. He let out a small groan. “All right, all right. You win!” Bucky stood up from where he was looming over Steve and went over to the doors. He locked them up quickly before he raced back over to Steve.

“It’s all locked up,” Bucky said excitedly as he kissed Steve’s forehead lightly. “Are we ready?”

Steve laughed and shook his head. “I don’t know, Buck. This is… we’d have to clean up this place after… and it’s the gym. Let’s go home. I’ll give you one hell of a work out… it’ll just be outside of the ring.”

Bucky’s head fell as he gave a nod. “Yeah… you’re right. I’ll grab my stuff and we’ll head home for the night.”

Steve sat up as he made his way out of the ring. “Need any help cleaning this place up?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah— O’Malley usually wipes everything down in the morning. He wants to make sure it’s done right or something.”

“I guess that makes sense. He really can’t afford to deal with any sanitation issues,” Steve said as he walked over to the door, waiting for Bucky patiently.

Bucky came over to him after a few minutes with his backpack. “Hey, ready if you are.”

Steve gave him a quick nod as they headed out of the gym. It wasn’t a long walk from the gym back to their apartment. O’Malley was able to get them a good deal because he used to train the landlord as a fighter a few years back. Apparently, he must have owed O’Malley a favor.

When they got back up to the apartment, Bucky immediately locked the door behind them. He picked Steve up again and leaned them up against the wall kissing him deeply. With the lights off, Steve could almost imagine this was their old place, where all their neighbors minded their own business and no one gave them a second thought. Here everything they did had to be so quiet and discreet… otherwise they’d be at risk of getting caught. Things really weren’t as easy as they used to be.

Bucky’s lips moved from Steve’s lips to his neck as he practically tore Steve’s button down shirt off. The buttons were scattered across the floor as Steve let out a gasp. “It’s gonna take me forever to fix that.”

“I’ll buy you a new one,” Bucky said absentmindedly. 

Steve frowned. They really shouldn’t be wasteful. There was a good chance that Bucky wouldn’t win this fight. Steve had practically accepted that fact. He just wanted Bucky to make it out of the ring alive. They had to be smart with their money. That meant not ruining perfectly good clothes just because they were impatient. 

“No, you won’t,” Steve said as he shrugged the shirt the rest of the way off, letting it fall against the floor. “That money is for necessities only. I can fix it. It’s just gonna take me some time.”

Bucky didn’t respond. He just began tugging at Steve’s undershirt. He pulled it over Steve’s head and dropped it on the floor next to the other shirt.

“We should probably move this to the bedroom,” Steve said breathlessly as Bucky began placing sweet kisses to his now bare torso.

Bucky nodded as he tightened his grip around Steve. He led them both over to the bedroom. He laid Steve down on the bed gently, and Steve couldn’t help but notice how much more comfortable it was opposed to the hard ground of the boxing ring from earlier.

Steve licked his lips distractedly as Bucky made quick work of his own shirt. He brought his attention back to Steve. He spent so much time giving attention to every inch of Steve’s body… at least the bits that weren’t still clothed.

Bucky made his way to Steve’s slacks. He slowly began to unbutton them, making sure to press a small kiss to each spot of skin that became visible as he opened them up. Bucky threw Steve’s pants on the ground, and brought his attention to Steve’s underwear. He stared at Steve for a moment before his head dipped down in between Steve’s legs. 

Bucky teased him, pressing featherlight kisses to Steve’s member, still covered by the cloth undergarments. Steve let out a moan as Bucky peppered kisses all over Steve’s groin… without removing the clothing.

“Any day now!” He snapped.

Bucky chuckled to himself. “Patience is a virtue, Rogers.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Well, it’s not one of mine. Get a move on, Buck.”

Bucky laughed again as he finally removed Steve’s underwear in one swift motion. Bucky brought his lips back to Steve’s member, giving it sweet chaste kisses before taking it in his mouth.

Steve cried out as Bucky began sucking in earnest. “Shit! Buck!”  
Bucky continued his motions, but brought his finger up to Steve’s mouth--silencing him. Shit! He had to be careful. If anyone heard… neither of them would be able to find any sort of work around there again.

Steve bit his own knuckle to keep from making any noise in response to Bucky’s very talented mouth. This was going to be the death of him. He wasn’t subtle, and he was terrible at keeping secrets. It was a miracle that no one had figured them out yet. Steve wasn’t very good at being covert.

After a few more blissful moments, Bucky took his mouth off of Steve’s cock. Steve moaned from the loss. “Buck,” he whined under his breath.

“I know, Stevie,” Bucky said as he met his lips chastely. “Give me a sec… and I promise you’ll be feeling good again.”

Steve didn’t respond. He just waited patiently for Bucky to start doing something… _anything_ again. After another few moments passed he felt Bucky’s cold hands at his entrance. Bucky slowly inserted a finger.

Steve felt his hips buck up involuntarily. He wasn’t expecting that to happen quite yet. “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Steve whispered. “I didn’t mean to—”

“You’re fine,” Bucky said reassuringly as he placed as kiss on his knee. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Steve said honestly. “You just took me by surprise is all.”

Bucky nodded. “Okay, let me know when you feel comfortable.” Bucky began moving his finger around slowly, trying to get Steve’s body used to him.

“I’m okay,” Steve said, trying to reassure Bucky. “Really. Just keep doing what you’re doing. If you stop… I’ll have to murder you.”  
Bucky laughed to himself again. “All right, I get it. I promise. I’ll stop acting like you’re gonna break. Promise you’ll tell me if you start to feel hurt or if you’re not comfortable.”

“I promise,” Steve said earnestly. “I’ll tell you if I need a break or if I need you to stop.”

Bucky grinned as he kissed Steve again as he added a second finger. Steve let out a low hiss. Bucky watched him carefully but didn’t say a word. At least he wasn’t going back on their agreement just seconds after making it. Still, Steve could see that Bucky’s eyes were glued to Steve. He wasn’t going to do anything until he felt confidently that Steve was comfortable and ready to continue.

Once Bucky was satisfied that Steve was ready, he added another finger, twisting and stretching. This was the part that Steve liked the least. He felt like a turkey, like someone was toying with him in preparation for stuffing. He also liked it the least because Bucky still managed to make him come undone from three fingers alone. He was sure that if Bucky wanted to, he could get him off with just those three fingers alone. It was _humiliating._ He could hardly control the little moans that left his mouth each time a finger so much as grazed his prostate.

Conversely, Bucky seemed to enjoy that bit the most. His eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas each time Steve reacted to any of his movements. It was like he got a swell of pride each time Steve let out a moan or gasp in response to his motions.

_Finally_, Bucky withdrew his fingers. The feeling of emptiness was only there for a moment before the tip of Bucky’s member was slowly entering him. Steve bit down on his knuckle hard to keep from making any noise. Bucky was going very slow; it was clear that he was worried he would hurt Steve, and for once, Steve was grateful that Bucky was taking his time. They hadn’t done this in a little while and Steve needed some more time than usual to adjust.

“You okay?” Bucky broke his silence, he was studying Steve’s face intently.

“I just need a minute,” Steve’s voice croaked. “Can we stay like this for a second?”

“Of course,” Bucky said, his voice was soft and it reminded Steve of their first time. He felt a pit begin to well in his stomach. What if this was their last time? He was almost certain they wouldn’t have a chance to do this again before Bucky’s fight, and Hodge had already taken at least one life in the ring. There was a chance that this might be the last time they did anything like this.

Steve pushed those thoughts out of his head. It didn’t matter. They could get hit by a bus the next day. No one was guaranteed tomorrow. The only thing that mattered in that moment was Bucky, who at that point was still _very_ much alive.

“I’m ready,” Steve said, taking a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”

Bucky smiled as he kissed Steve’s lips sweetly as he began moving in and out of him. It wasn’t rushed or rough or sloppy. It was a nice, slow, deliberate rhythm. Bucky was mindful, making sure to hit Steve’s prostate with each thrust. His lips were attached to Steve’s neck as he arched up into each movement. Steve had a moment of realization break over him. This was the difference. The difference between fucking around and _making love_. He’d always thought it was just some silly expression, but this was something entirely different. It was as if each and every touch or kiss had purpose. It wasn’t something that could be phoned in. It was _real_. Steve let out a gasp as he orgasmsed without warning. 

Bucky smiled against his skin. “I’m close too, Stevie. Just a few more minutes for me.”

Steve nodded as Bucky’s thrusts became a little less precise and he was moving just a hair quicker than he had been before. After a few more minutes, Bucky let out a low groan in his ear and emptied himself inside of Steve. He rolled over so that he was laying next to Steve. He took his hand in his own and kissed it sweetly. 

“You were right,” Bucky said, trying to catch his breath. “We couldn’t exactly do that at the gym.”

Steve laughed under his breath. “No. We definitely would not have been able to do that there.”


	6. Chapter 6

The week of the fight had snuck up on them. They were different around each other. There was no fighting. There was hardly any talking if they were being honest. They just tiptoed around each other. There wasn’t much to say.

Steve did, however, spend a little more money than usual at the grocer. He made sure to get some of Bucky’s favorites. Steve wasn’t stupid or naive. He knew that the reason Bucky took this deal was for Steve. Bucky was supporting two people, not just himself. Bucky would have been able to get by on the occasional fight and some odd jobs. He just couldn’t support the _both_ of them doing that. The least that Steve could do was make sure that Bucky had the food that he liked in the house.

Bucky’s eyes had lit up each night when he came home from the gym to see that Steve had made another one of his favorite meals for dinner. 

“You’ve been going all out this week,” Bucky mentioned the third day that Steve had made something other than bologna sandwiches.

“I thought we could switch it up. I was getting sick of bologna. I got a good deal,” Steve lied.

Bucky gave him a disapproving look. “I appreciate what you’re doing, I just… maybe you’re right. We probably shouldn’t be spending money like that. You know… just in case…” his voice trailed off. He could practically hear the ending to that sentence. _Just in case… I don’t make it out of the ring._

“I know,” Steve said solemnly. “Still, this is a big accomplishment. I just figured we could celebrate. It’s a special occasion. This fight… it’s a big deal.”

Bucky smiled at him but it didn’t meet his eyes. Steve wasn’t surprised. Neither of them felt much like celebrating. Still, it was the only thing that Steve could think to do. Fake it till they make it. If Steve could just get through the week and if Bucky made it through the fight, they’d be able to breathe a little easier.

“I won’t be home until late tomorrow,” Bucky said, changing the subject. “O’Malley has me doin’ some interview about the fight.”

“Wow,” Steve said, raising an eyebrow. “That’s a pretty big deal, Buck.”

Bucky shrugged. “I guess. I don’t really know what they expect me to talk about. I’m gonna throw some punches, and Hodge is gonna throw some punches and at the end one of us is the winner. For me, there’s not much more to it than that.”

“Is it gonna be on the radio, or is it for the papers?” Steve asked as he stood up to start clearing the table.

“No idea,” Bucky said. “I doubt it’ll be on the radio. Like I said, I’m not gonna be much of an interview. I’ll probably just bore the poor SOB that gets stuck interviewing me. I don’t have much to say about this honestly. I’m only boxing to keep food on the table. It’s not exactly my dream job. It’s just something that I happen to be good at… that pays.”

Steve forced out a laugh. “You could always talk about that. How you fell on hard times and boxing is helping you out of that.”

Bucky frowned as he pinched the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes and exhaled. “I mean _everyone_ fell on hard times. My story is hardly unique… or interesting. There probably gonna ask stupid questions about my training routine.”

“Maybe,” Steve said. “It was just a thought. Are your sisters coming to the fight? We can have them over beforehand—”

“To say their goodbyes,” Bucky said shortly.

Steve stared at him for a minute. “I just thought we could all walk over there together—”

“O’Malley said the promoter is sending a car—”

“For you,” Steve snapped. “I can’t exactly ride with you. I can’t even sit in your designated seats if I’m by myself. It looks… ‘_queer.’_” Steve spat the last word disdainfully.

Bucky blinked at him. “Rebecca and Regina aren’t coming. They made it clear that they don’t want me to get into the ring with Hodge. I’ll talk to O’Malley. I’m sure we can arrange a seat in another section—”

“Like he does every match,” Steve said as he crossed his arms.

“Do you _want_ to sit in my seats? I don’t think it’s that much of a red flag. Everyone knows that we’re friends and roommates. It makes sense that I’d get you tickets to my match,” Bucky asked. “Whatever you want to do, Steve. I’ll be honest. The last thing on my mind right now is where you’ll be seated at my execution.”

Steve crossed his arms. “Then don’t take the fight. If you think it’s too much of a gamble then we’ll figure something out.”

“It’s a little late for that, Steve,” Bucky said, clearly getting agitated. “The match is in two days. If I pull out now, they’ll never offer me another fight.”

“But you’ll be alive—”

“Until we starve to death! We don’t have a lot of options here! If you have an idea of what we can do to make money instead of this then please feel free to suggest it!” Bucky snapped at him. 

Steve shook his head. “I’m not doing this! I’m not going to fight with you, Buck. I’m not trying to be ungrateful, but I care a hell of a lot more about you getting out of that ring in one piece than if we struggle to make the rent for a little while.”

“Steve, that’s not an option and you know it,” Bucky said, his voice calmer now. “I’m not trying to say that you’re… ‘ungrateful’ either. I’m just trying to explain that this is our meal ticket. We have a roof over our heads and food in our stomach because of this. If I back out, then all this goes away.”

“It also goes away if you’re dead,” Steve said, sitting back down next to Bucky. “If you die on me, I’ll never forgive you.”

Bucky let out a harsh laugh at that. “I’ll do my best not to disappoint, then.”

Steve took Bucky’s hand in his own and squeezed it tightly. “Good. I don’t know what I’ll do if…” he couldn’t bring himself to say it.

“Let’s hope we don’t have to find out,” Bucky said as he gave Steve’s hand a light squeeze back. 

The night before the fight, neither Bucky or Steve got much of any sleep. They just lay with each other, watching the clock. It was painful. Steve spent each moment wondering if it was his last night with Bucky. He imagined that Bucky was wondering if it was his own last night on Earth. Steve tried not to think about that. He tried to think about how he had Bucky in that moment and no one could take that away from them… not even Gilmore Hodge.

Bucky had to go down to the gym in the morning and meet with O’Malley for some last minute preparation. Steve wasn’t really sure what the point of that was, but maybe it would help Bucky relax. It couldn’t be good that he had gotten no sleep and was so nervous about this fight. Steve just selfishly would have liked to spend more time with Bucky leading up to the fight. 

Steve spent his day cleaning the apartment. It was mostly just to distract from the feeling of impending doom, but it was also because he wanted to prepare. He wanted to make sure that if something happened and they--or he needed to leave, there would be as little clean up as possible leading up to that. It did wind up serving as a pretty good distraction. He became so preoccupied with cleaning the kitchen, that he was almost late leaving to head over to the arena.

Steve put on his nicest button-down shirt and a nice pair of slacks. He knew that he was still a bit underdressed, but he didn’t own anything much nicer than that. He considered throwing on a jacket too, but he thought it might look a bit odd… considering that it was summer.  
He made his way down to the arena. It was crowded. This was definitely a larger crowd than any of Bucky’s other fights had. Steve felt himself begin to swell with pride. Bucky was getting to be a big deal. If it weren’t so dangerous, they could have properly celebrated this accomplishment. 

Steve took his seat… it was separate from the rest of the seats that O’Malley had arranged for Bucky. He had decided that this was best. Seeing the size of this crowd, he was relieved that they had made this choice. There were going to be so many eyes on Bucky--it was better if they didn’t see Steve right next to his family… who really didn’t show up. Steve didn’t blame them. He didn’t exactly enjoy these outings either.

Just as he took his seat, the lights began to dim. He really did make it just in time. He watched as Hodge entered the ring first. There was an eruption of cheers as the announcer called his name. He was even bigger than the pictures that Steve had seen. He wasn’t sure how Bucky stood a chance against this guy.

Bucky entered next and the cheers were… less zealous. That said, there were still more cheers than Steve was anticipating. Maybe Bucky really was getting a following. He wasn’t really sure what to make of that.

Steve was a little taken aback by just how much Bucky had managed to bulk up. He really hadn’t noticed until seeing him across from Hodge. The difference was less noticeable than Steve had thought it was. That was encouraging at least.

The first round was uneventful, which Steve was happy about. There were some shots here and there, but there was no clear underdog. Maybe Bucky had more of a fighting chance than Steve thought he did.

There didn’t really seem to be much action until the fifth round. Hodge really laid into Bucky. It was brutal and Steve could hardly watch. Still, Bucky managed to get up and keep fighting… swollen eye and all. 

Hodge seemed to dominate in the next two rounds. Steve really considered leaving to set up his little first aid center in the kitchen. Still, he wanted to be there in case there was nothing that his bandages and ice could do. He’d have to be the one to call Bucky’s sisters. He wasn’t sure how to have that conversation with them. Would they blame Steve? He hoped they wouldn’t. He hoped that he didn’t have to find out.

The ninth round was when things started to change. Steve wasn’t sure what happened or if O’Malley gave Bucky some incredible advice, but Bucky really dominated that round. He had Hodge in the corner and was unrelenting as the round progressed. Steve found himself out of his seat cheering. Maybe Bucky would make it out of this. Maybe he’d come home… maybe this would help him prove himself and open more opportunities. Steve tried his best not to get too enthusiastic. There was still a ways to go before they were in the clear.

The next round of the match was when things got even more wild. There was a lot of back and forth, no one was holding back and they were throwing some really brutal shots. Steve wasn’t really sure how this was a legal sport. The brutality was insane. Steve wished that someone would put a stop to it until… Bucky knocked Hodge down. The arena let out a collective gasp as the ref began to count. Steve’s jaw was on the ground as the ref finally made it to 10. Bucky had won. He knocked Hodge down and the other man didn’t get up before the ten seconds were up. Bucky _won._

Steve didn’t stick around for the festivities afterwards. Bucky may have won but he took one hell of a beating to get there. He had to get home to set up the ice, bandages, and sewing kit, they had a long night ahead of them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge shout out to my beta reader [Anne](https://melsmalone.tumblr.com) for everything! Words cannot describe how incredible she was throughout this process!

It had been a few months after the big fight. Bucky still was taking a few fights here and there but had managed to get a somewhat steady job with O’Malley to help train other fighters. It wasn’t much but it was safer than having to fight every few weeks. 

Bucky had signed he and Steve up for an art class. Steve had originally been against the idea, but Bucky insisted that they had to do something nice with some of the winnings from the big fight. 

The radio was playing as Steve was sketching a bowl of fruit on the table in front of him. Bucky was doodling something indiscernible. No matter how much Bucky insisted that this class was for the both of them, it was obvious that it was something they were doing for Steve.

The music stopped suddenly and a news broadcaster began speaking. _“This is breaking news. There has been an attack on Pearl Harbor by the Japanese…”_

Steve looked at Bucky who was still listening on. He knew what this meant. This meant war. War meant that thousands of young men would go off and fight. It meant that thousands of young men would go off and die. He knew what that meant too, Bucky was the best of them. He was never one that could stop standing up for the little guy. The axis were bullies and Bucky was going to stand up to them. He knew that there would be no stopping him from joining up. That meant only one thing. It meant that Steve would have to join up too. It wasn’t going to be easy, but he wasn’t going to let Bucky carry this burden on his own… not again. Steve put down the pencil and waited for the broadcast to end.

“I can’t believe it,” Bucky said, Steve could already see the wheels turning in his head.

“We’re gonna have to fight,” Steve said for him.

Bucky nodded. “Yeah. I think we are.”

“The problem is… war is gonna leave scars that are gonna be harder to patch up. I don’t know if my minimal first aid can handle it,” Steve said.

“I guess we’ll have to find out,” Bucky said as he stared down at the floor. 

Steve nodded but didn’t say anything. If Bucky died… he’d never forgive him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This incredible art was created by [ohstars](https://oh--stars.tumblr.com) for the CapBB! It was a pleasure to work with you! The art is fantastic!!!


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